Genesis 2:18

Marriage is wonderful, but it can also have its challenges. Busy lives, financial issues, physical and mental health challenges, and unexpected setbacks can put strain on even the strongest relationships. And if you’re a parent or hope to be a parent, there are additional layers of responsibility, anxiety, and fears that can put pressure on your marriage. Life can either wear down your relationship and pull it apart, or the challenges you face can strengthen your bond, increase your trust, and fuel your joy. 

So why do some marriages grow stronger while others break down? Every situation is different, but here are a few

common ingredients that can lead to lasting marriages.

1. A Shared Purpose

A strong marriage doesn’t only look inward; it looks outward, too. When couples ask God how they can serve others together, encourage others in their faith, and use their relationship as a light in their community, they become a team on a mission. Marriage rooted in God’s love and guided by God’s Word becomes a relationship that doesn’t just survive—it makes a lasting difference.

2. A Strong Support System

We were never meant to do life alone. Couples with healthy friendships, mentors, loved ones, and a small group are more likely to stand strong in hard times. Having people who pray with you, check in on your marriage, and simply remind you of your wedding vows is a gift. Surrounding yourself with others who want to honor God in their relationships helps you do the same.

3. Praying Together

There’s something powerful about hearing your spouse talk to God. Prayer softens hearts, builds trust, and draws you closer to each other and Jesus. Prayer doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be honest. Prayer is a way of reminding yourselves and each other that only God can meet your deepest needs.

What Makes a Marriage “Great”?

Everyone seems to have Christian dating advice. Sometimes the advice is conflicting, confusing, and downright stressful. 

“Don’t spend too much time alone with them” vs. “Make sure you spend lots of quality time together.” 

“Date for no more than two years” vs. “You have to date for at least two years.” 

“Date different people before getting serious” vs. “Only date people you see as a potential spouse.” 

“Don’t be too clingy” vs. “Make sure they know you’re interested” vs. “Relax!” 

As a Christian, dating can be an uncomfortable topic. Probably because there’s a lot of different advice out there that may not be helpful. But dating—casually or seriously—can be a way that you glorify God.

4 Ways to Make Christian Dating Less Complicated

1. Stop looking for “the one.”

Let’s talk about dating and purpose and how they go together. For starters, you can take off some of the unnecessary pressure that gets put on a dating relationship. People often talk about wanting to find “the one,” and that just doesn’t exist. No one person is going to complete you. Only Jesus can fulfill your deepest desires to be known, seen, and loved for exactly who you are. Instead, you’re looking for someone else who is passionately pursuing Jesus and who can help you be a better Christ follower. 

2. Slow down.

Don’t worry; every coffee date you go on doesn’t have to be a frantic search to answer the question: “Is this person ‘marriage material’?” That’s a recipe for anxiety. Instead, prioritize getting to know people and hearing their stories. Not all Christian singles in your age group are right for you. So focus on forming friendships, and don’t stress yourself out trying to picture a future with everyone you go out with. 

3. Set boundaries.

However, you can and should set boundaries to have healthy relationships. Decide now how you’ll date. Set limits on where you’ll draw the line physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The thing about the line, though, is that you’ll want to make sure you’re not tiptoeing around it. Your goal shouldn’t be “What can I do that doesn’t cross the line?” Your goal should be “How can this relationship bring the most honor to God?” When that’s your goal, it becomes pretty easy to set the right boundaries to protect yourself now from hurt that could happen later. 

> Have an accountability partner. Dating is exciting, emotional, and deeply personal. That’s exactly why accountability matters. When your heart is involved, it can be hard to see clearly. An accountability partner helps you stay grounded in wisdom, purity, and intentionality. An accountability partner is not someone who controls your life, tracks your every move, or “lords over” your relationship. Instead, this is someone you trust—someone mature in their faith—who is not swept up in the emotions of your relationship. They can offer perspective when your feelings are loud.

- This is someone you can text after a date night and say, “I just dropped them off, I’m headed home.”
- This is someone who can ask you honest questions and expect honest answers.
- This is someone who cares more about your holiness than your happiness in the moment.

What an Accountability Partner Does

• Provides perspective. They help you think clearly when emotions feel overwhelming.

• Asks the hard questions. Are you honoring God in your physical boundaries? Are you guarding your heart? Are there red flags you’re ignoring?

• Prays for you consistently. They lift up your relationship and your future in prayer.

• Reminds you of your values. When temptation or confusion creeps in, they call you back to what you believe.

• Encourages growth. They challenge you to become more like Christ in the way you love and lead.

What an Accountability Partner Is Not

• A replacement for the Holy Spirit

• A relationship spy

• Someone who shames you

• Someone who shares your private struggles with others

Accountability only works when it is rooted in trust, humility, and grace.

Why Accountability Matters

Dating without accountability can easily drift into isolation. And isolation often leads to compromise. When no one knows what’s happening in your relationship, it becomes much easier to justify small steps that slowly move you away from your convictions.

Accountability brings things into the light. It protects your purity, your witness, and your future marriage. It also helps you build a relationship based on intentionality rather than impulse.

A Practical Suggestion

• Choose someone of the same gender who is spiritually mature.

• Set clear expectations: How often will you check in?

• Be proactive, not reactive—reach out before you’re in a compromising situation.

• Invite honesty. If you don’t want real feedback, you don’t really want accountability.

4. Pursue your purpose on your own.

There can also be tension between having relationships and pursuing your purpose, but there doesn’t have to be. Don’t wait to pursue your purpose until you’re in a relationship, because again, no one person is going to complete you. Healthy relationships often start with two people who feel comfortable in their singleness. That’s because they know their worth and purpose don’t depend on their relationship status. Instead of waiting for “the one,” ask God what your next right step is—and do it. Wait for relationships with purpose by living out your purpose.

It’s cliche to say, “wait for God’s timing,” but there’s truth in that statement. Your purpose in life isn’t to get married. Instead, your purpose is to follow Jesus. The Holy Spirit may lead you to a long term relationship, or He might not. So let’s do our best to be patient as we pursue our purpose, trusting God to bring us the right person at the right time. 

Let’s Break Up With Our Expectations

There’s a lot of pressure to find a relationship, get engaged, and get married. That’s great for some people, but it’s not a universal story. And that’s okay! Singleness is a gift we can embrace. Break up with expectations about what’s supposed to happen and enjoy the season God has you in. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, God has a plan for you, so focus on doing the next right thing and falling more in love with Jesus. The rest will fall into place. 

Lasting friendships are relationships that go through different seasons, have ups and downs, and persist, despite what life throws at them.

Here Are 5 Ways You Can Build Lasting Friendships, Starting Today.

1.  Start a conversation. 

Sounds simple enough, right? In order to build a lasting friendship, you need to have conversations that go beyond “Beautiful weather we’re having,” and “How has work been?” Every person has a desire to be known. And one of the best ways to become known is through real conversations with others.
Think of some truly meaningful topics to talk about:

• Your passions and dreams.
• The things that break your heart.
• What you would do with your life if anything were possible.

These kinds of subjects don’t just lead to longer discussions; they lead to deeper ones. And when you have more genuine and intentional conversations, you learn more about each other in a way that naturally brings you closer. You discover common interests, passions, and ways to encourage one another toward your goals and dreams.

2. Be okay with weird people—you’re probably one of them. 

We all have qualities, experiences, and gifts that make us unique. Yet, sometimes, we hide who we are to fit in. Everyone has a quality someone might consider “weird.” We can hide and pretend to be a false version of ourselves. Or we can embrace who God made us to be. This truth brings incredible freedom. 

Being weird is just part of the human condition. We’re all weird in our own ways, we need to develop a perspective of gratitude for other people’s differences and oddities instead of jealousy and comparison.

Acknowledging that everyone’s weird, including ourselves, allows us to step into new friendships without feeling forced to “have it all together” or to be some definition of perfect. Instead, we get to show up exactly as I we are, and the other person is free to do the same.

3. Manage your expectations. 

Many of us have a vivid memory or experience that comes to mind when we think about a friendship going wrong. Whether we’re still hurt or have healed, these experiences still make it challenging to pursue friendships now. So it’s important to manage your expectations of others. There will be moments when people fall short and let you down. So go ahead and decide right now how you’ll respond. And

pre-decide how you’ll respond when you fall short of your own expectations and hurt someone else.

4. Set healthy boundaries. 

This can feel like an intimidating or scary thing to do, especially when you’re thinking about building friendships that last. Setting boundaries around the relationships you want to grow and build for the long haul can feel counterintuitive. So I’d ask you how you currently think about boundaries. It’s likely that if you think of adjectives like “restrictive,” “mean,” or “hurtful,” that you have an incomplete definition of boundaries. Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges.

Instead of viewing boundaries as confining barriers that negatively impact your relationships, think of them as bridges. Bridges connect two places in a safe way, and protect the health of both places.

Here are two boundaries that help in friendships:

• Emotional Boundaries. We all express emotions and needs in different ways in different seasons. If I find that a particular friendship feels more draining and less mutual, I find ways to set better emotional boundaries like displaying empathy without feeling pressured to propose a solution, communicating off-limits topics, and sharing when I need a moment to process my own feelings in response to a conversation.
• Time Boundaries. We all run on our own internal clocks. Sometimes, I’m in bed by 7:00pm and up by 5:30am. Other times, I stay up later and sleep in longer. And sometimes, my friends are on opposite schedules, which is okay. It doesn’t mean that we’re not prioritizing our friendships, it just means that we have to work harder to find better times to meet.

5. Keep showing up. 

It takes time and energy to build and maintain lasting friendships. There are hard days and great days. Sometimes we don’t know if our efforts will pay off or be in vain. When you start wrestling with similar thoughts, I want to encourage you to keep showing up.

We all need people. It’s how we were designed from the beginning. Healthy community has always mattered, and it still matters now—despite the lies we hear in society that try to convince us that we’re better alone. Instead, choose to keep showing up for your people. And when you do, I promise that they’ll show up for you, too.

We all need and want friendships, but it’s not always easy to know how to come by these healthy relationships. Trust me when I say that a conversation can change your life. So go do something about it. Set up a coffee with an old friend, grab lunch with a coworker, or spend time in a new place intentionally looking for someone to connect with. You’ll begin to see the power in building lasting friendships.